Y’know what my problem is?  I’m an all or nothing girl.  Moderation and finding the middle ground are almost impossible ambitions of mine, and my gaming habits are no exception - especially when it comes to RPGs.

Take Enchanted Arms for example.  Anyone on my Xbox Live friend’s list will have noticed I’ve been playing it a lot over the past few weeks.  Perhaps it’s because finding an RPG on a Microsoft console is still rare, or perhaps I just drink too much pineapple juice, I dunno.  And yet, I never quite know why I get so sucked into RPGs - sometimes I have no idea why I even like the damn things.

For one, RPGs are the kings of padding - why have a twenty-hour game when you can have a fifty-hour one instead?  And again, let’s bring Enchanted Arms into the equation.  Want to stroll into Kyoto City?  Sure, why not - but first of all you need to run back to some random village to take a rest, then toddle all the way back again, and during the journey will have to deal with the mother of all RPG elements - random encounters.

God, I hate random encounters.  They drive me to the brink of lunacy.  Walk five steps.  Random encounter.  Discover you’ve gone the wrong way.  Turn around and walk four steps.  Random encounter.  They are the staple diet of the majority of RPGs.  Show me even ONE Final Fantasy fan who has managed to erase the dreaded victory dance music from their minds.  Night after night have I wasted sitting in the dark, building my stats up on titles such as Legend of Dragoon on the Playstation 2 - the bloody game froze up right after a game save on disc three, scuppering any hopes I had of completing it.  Still, it’s not like that’s prevented me from completing Breath of Fire III, Shadow of Memories, Illusion of Time, Xenogears, Dark Cloud, Legend of Legaia, Disgaea or Soleil.  And that’s another thing about RPGs - I barely complete any of them.  It’s like buying baking ingredients, preparing a cake, and then just as you’re about to get it out of the oven, crying “Nope! Can’t be bothered!  Let it burn in a sponge inferno!”

Of course, after you’ve battled through the millionth random encounter, you get to wander around the local village breaking into people’s houses, having thrilling conversations with NPC characters such as “Have you seen my dog?  My dog is brown.  Have you seen my dog?” If you’re lucky, the local dragon in residence will have eaten the furry mutt, and off you go again, an angsty pretty boy with Nicky Clarke hair, determined to save the day by hitting the ‘auto battle’ button ‘til your thumb starts bleeding.

And if you’re related to any RPG hero or heroine?  Better start booking that life insurance policy, because eight times out of ten you’re guaranteed to pop your clogs before the end credits - and chances are if you’re the lead’s father you’re already dead!  And don’t even get me started on the war that happened a thousand years ago that cast the world into darkness.  OR the mythical sword that lies beneath the sacred waterfall.  Is a little bit of originality so much to ask?

And yet, get me talking in-depth about RPGs, and I’ll you’ll still hear that wobble of emotion in my voice.  I’ll still get that watery-eye look if you mention the ending of Secret of Mana (fine, number two, if you want to get fussy.) The design that went into building Midgar in Final Fantasy VII.  The gentle joy of Grandia I.  No other genre affects me quite as RPGs do, and for all their flaws, I love them dearly.  If it weren’t for them, I wouldn’t know the basics of Japanese elementology, Chinese alchemy, or the sociological workings of fairies.  And there I go again - I love them and hate them.  Nothing inbetween would quite suffice for me.

Anyway, must dash.  Have to complete Wild Arms 3 before Digaea 2 hits the shelves in October.

Toodles!