Today I kicked Derren Brown a mighty 680 meters down the street on my first attempt with a ‘Red or Dead Miami’ a killer 4 inch red stiletto. It was a good kick, a medium angle and a lot of power. I have to say he didn’t seem to predict all the rubbish bins he was about to hit, and I was saddened when he finally fell down that manhole.  Next, I think I’ll kick President Bush down the street with some ‘Schuh psycho high cut court’ shoes ... 

So it has finally happened, two of the best things in the world have come together ... shoes and mindless time wasting games on the internet. It’s like someone stole my dreams and made them all come true at once. (Ok so maybe it is not quite that good but still, it’s pretty good.)

I have to say the game is lacking in shoe choice. There are five celebrities to kick but I don’t really care about that, I want the shoe options to be more varied. I think you should be able to use any shoe that Schuh has on offer. I would also like them to make it so that if you choose a particularly pointy shoe and too much power, it could impale the celebrity.

Now what do we do with a shoe impaled celebrity? 

Why we operate on them and get that lovely shoe out surely… and how do we do this??

Dr Derek Stiles to the rescue! He is clearly the man for the job with his miracle antiseptic cream that actually heals small wounds before your very eyes, and his ability to tweeze out pointy objects from any waiting pancreas.

Yes I recently got my hands on a copy of Trauma Center: Under the Knife for my DS. It is wonderful. I love the way all the characters are on small conveyer belts bringing them rapidly on and off screen. I love the fact that, when Dr Derek Stiles gets ready for an operation, he flings his hand out at you in a rather threatening manner. Oh and I love that they use real medical terms, if not always in quite the right way.

So today (prior to kicking anyone down the street) I saved some lives using a lot of green stuff and a weird suck-y device (to apparently remove cytoplasm). I also killed some people; well actually I killed one person repeatedly. And here the game let me down… instead of wheeling the corpse off for a post mortem and beginning a law suit for my incompetence, it simply let me try again. Very unrealistic.  Oh and that blonde 21 year old nurse with the knowledge of all surgical techniques is clearly an actress…. And there is no way you could really do surgery with all that hair flopping about… and that cream, no way! I don’t believe it!!

(Sarin once again looses a grip on ‘the world of games’ vs ‘the real world’)

Right that’s it, I have had enough of talking to you people, I have lives to save!

*pulls on latex gloves and picks up DS*